This war is noise.


Surprises in heartbeats.
February 28, 2009, 10:45 pm
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Today I had the first real breakthrough.

I feel so positive about things. :]

Me and Nathan have been so close lately, and Im really glad.

It was so unexpected when he said it too.

:]

Our house is finished being decorated ;D!

And all the anime dvds arrived ^.^

Plus my soundcard, just waiting on the usbmultiport thing. :]

Im a little tired, so I shall be sleeping soon!

Hope all is well. [:



It is done!
February 28, 2009, 12:27 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

My room is finished ;D!

I have all my stuff back in it and Im really happy with it. :]

Im gonna wait 2 days before going near the walls with my posters xP

But Im looking forward to doing that aswell ;D

More long talks with him. ^.^

I was away alot of today though.

Went shopping, came back, went back into town to the social, came back, went down the street to cash the one payment they could give me, was told I could only cash it in town. Obv pissed lol.

But I just decided to nap instead.

Woke up from nap, sorted room, had lots of popcorn – and frith it was good popcorn – lol and then have been checking stuff.

Although Im kinda achey, today was greatly productive :]

And Im going to shower soon, then sleeeeeep some more. x]



Blogging from a foreign place? Lol.
February 27, 2009, 12:14 am
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Ok, not quite.

I’ve had to stay in my mums room this evening as my room isnt quite finished yet. Needs to be glossed and cleaned etc.

But that shall be done by the time I leave for shopping tomorrow I think ^.^ as hes still arriving at INSANELY early times lol.

I had to hide out today in my brothers room, so as to avoid downstairs, and I liked the quiet, not so much the cold.

9 hrs on and off talking to him x]

He was the only person I really talked to today, cos I just needed the time.

Wendy Richard, the actress that played Pauline Fowler in Eastenders, died today, aged 65, of breast cancer.

Its odd, cos I had blogged earlier on myspaz, that it was the 15 year anniv of Bill Hicks death. Who also died of cancer. Different sort of course lol his was pancreatic that spread to his liver I think.

In any case, I had a pretty amazing day. :]

High on love lol how girly.

Oh well.

Im going to need to sleep so I’ll get up early.



Extra day.
February 25, 2009, 7:45 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

So after clearing alot of the last stuff around in my room out, and waiting to be told to remove myself from my room, I found out it wasnt being started til tomorrow.

Which is actually a pretty good thing. Cos Aaron can get his room sorted out, all his stuff put back in etc tonight, and then I can just hide in there while my room gets decorated tomorrow x]

I also have my doctors notes sorted. :]

Just have to take them up to the social.

Also have ordered some anime! And some parts to help my laptop until the last usb port dies, then it shall have to be sent off lol BUT UNTIL THEN ;D it can be helped lol.

Been playing Psychic Force 2 for a good while, such a great game ^.^



Ah crazy days.
February 25, 2009, 1:10 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Well, my driving lesson went pretty well :] focused mainly on steering and following the curb, which im doing alot better with apparently.

Came back home, then set out for town so I could visit the dole office about my benefits, as I had sent my sick note in weeks ago and had no word. So I went straight in – no line for a change – and apparently nothing was ever received. Which is entirely ridiculous, but oh well. I have to get a duplicate, and it’ll have to be for two months instead of one.

Then went through town, getting all the mothers day stuff dealt with, aswell as picking up whatever shopping needed.

Got home, my brother played a bit of Disgaea, then got annoyed with it x]

Then had to sort money/avon stuff out.

Then had to take pictures of certain parts of my laptop to see if my cousins bf can fix it for me.

Then had to box up stuff in my room, for when the decorating starts tomorrow :]

Bit hectic lol.

Still not quite over the comment this morning -.- ah it was just wrong.

Lol my aunt on my mothers side, was talking to my aunt on my dads side. As they both go to the same weightloss program – it actually works too, tons of people are on it around here – and my aunt on my mums side had heard news of my dads current condition, mentioned it to my other aunt.

My other aunt acted pretty much as I would expect. But my aunt on mums side was pretty much ready to punch her for how she responded lol.

See the people on my dads side only give a fuck if theres a wedding or a funeral.

Otherwise, you pretty much dont hear from them.

They’re all pretty fucked, dad included.

My aunt was saying how it was terrible that he’d deteriorated as much as he had, and my other aunt – his actual sister mind- replied “well we knew it was going to happen anyways” lol. Oh aye, my mums sister is more worried about your brother than you are, that makes sense.

Then she said “well, at least shes [my mum] going to get more help looking after him”. And my other aunt had the cheek to say “i thought she was getting plenty of help already”. Yeah, fuck off.

I have no time for them. At all. They’d sit back and let my mum kill herself over trying to look after that wanker. As long as it doesnt affect their lives, they dont give a fuck.

They’ve never offered any – physical or financial- help to my mum.

They just ring when they hear somethings happened. They just like having something to talk about.

Its sick in a way really. How little they give a fuck.

But such are human beings that grew up in that house.

How my mother ever got mixed up in that shit, I’ll never ever know.

At least my mum still has her family, who do actually try and help.

My grandparents do every little thing they can, no matter what.

And they’re in their 80s now.

My last name may aswell be my mothers maiden name, is how I see it.

Cos they’re the only example of a family that deserve recognition.

Im just really glad I’ve had that.



I walked you home most days.
February 24, 2009, 11:40 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Driving lesson in 15 mins ;D

Looking forward to it.

That line reminds me of someone so strongly lol ah.

Things are really good with Nathan atm. :]

You know when you keep something about yourself, to yourself, for a little while, because you dont think it’ll be accepted, but then you tell them, and it is, in fact its liked, alot, its such a great feeling :]

Catching up with other peoples has been good too :]

I think my rooms being decorated tomorrow, as my brothers is at present.

But yay! At the prospect :]

Dads condition is worsening apparently, hes steadily going braindead.

Mums going to be given alot more help.

Which of course is a good thing. I just wish they’d hurry up, or take him away.

Either way, he’ll be distanced alot more from me.

Which is all for the better ;D

He said something particularly creepy to me this morning.

Which Im not posting here, cos y’know, I want to actually come back to this page.

But yeah, ewh.

I dont think he remember who I was at the time.

But in any case, still fucking gross.

Ah, we shall endure, for his death is imminent ^.^



Oh lazy days.
February 22, 2009, 11:31 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Pretty much what today was.

I hadnt planned on doing anything much though I suppose lol.

Just did alot of conversing. And got angry at my internet being a douche for the last week or so. >:Z

Im actually really tired though, shall be sleeping super soon.

Did watch one of Tommy Tiernans shows though, frith I laughed. xD

Well all the crazy starts tomorrow so I may get a good sleep!

Hope all is well. :]