This war is noise.


Update!
March 30, 2009, 12:49 am
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Sorry I’ve been a bit absent in posting last couple of days.

Heads been elsewhere really, so updates indeed!

No real plans for this week only driving lesson on tuesday.

Watched Billy Connolly again tonight, funny as xD

Had so many awkward conversations this weekend.

My brother had an atrocious time at work the last couple of days, and hes going to quit. Hes going to the tech about it first obviously so they can sort him something before he does to keep up with his course requirements, but yeah.

The man went totally beyond the line. He basically said to my brother, as he was looking to change his sunday work to another day as it was draining money, that he could just cut his day, cos they didnt really care if he got his training or not. o_o Like really, why offer the tech the opportunity of sending people, if you clearly dont want to train them really. And of course my brother, and the other chef he was talking to, just glared in disbelief at the guy that owns the place after he said that. My brother was made to feel like he didnt matter at all and that he was stupid for not knowing whatever it was they were trying to get him to do at the time, which they’re supposed to be training him to do anyways -.- I mean really. So yeah, not impressed at all. Should go to the papers really, have the place’s reputation shot to hell cos hes that much of a self important selfish bastard. >:Z

But anyways. Also it was Charlottes 18th birthday on wednesday and her party on friday. There was quite a hiccup during the party that led to a small minded girl making a huge overreaction. All is sorted now but still, sometimes “friends” can be such wankers.

Hope all is well with everyone and shall be back to ze regularness. :]

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LOL.[update]
March 27, 2009, 12:47 am
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My brother is sitting telling me about the people at his tech and the impressions xD dying of laughter lol.

I have shopping and my driving lesson tomorrow :]

My wounds have healed up really well.

I got Legend Of Dragoon, but it stops working at a certain part on the first disc D:!!!!!! And I paid so much for the damn thing. But I love the game so, gonna have to look for a replacement :/ lol.

I love Nathan :]

Hope all is well with everyone [:



:|
March 22, 2009, 8:07 pm
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My heads going insane with all these thoughts.

I wish I’d never talked about it.

And now I really need to talk.

:[



Yay for the little freedoms.
March 21, 2009, 9:17 pm
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So today I had the house to myself most of the day, got to listen to music on the music channels ;D ..and dance about the living room >.> lol.

And now Im listening to music, blasting ittt ;D and loving it.

Got all my mothers day cards [mum, nanny and my great aunt] sorted, and the avon sorted. :]

Showerrr this evening ;D I’ve had to like wash with a washcloth at the sink and make sure it doesnt go near my stomach since I got back D: was for my own good though lol like when I had my back surgery.

But yesss, tonight ;D

Im in a good mood for some reason tonight.

Dunno why, cos I dont have much reason to be.

But Im glad all the same. :]



Cup Of Coffee.
March 20, 2009, 8:51 pm
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You tell me you don’t love me,
Over a cup of coffee,
And I just have to look away.
A million miles between us,
Planets crash into dust,
I just let it fade away.

I’m walking empty streets,
Hoping we might meet,
I see your car parked on the road.
The light on at your window,
I know for sure that you’re home,
But I just have to pass on by.

So no, of course, we can’t be friends,
Not while I’m still this obsessed,
I guess I always knew the score,
This is how our story ends.

I smoke your brand of cigarettes,
And pray that you might give me a call.
I lie around in bed all day, just staring at the walls.
Hanging round bars at night, wishing I had never been born,
And give myself to anyone who wants to take me home.

So no, of course, we can’t be friends,
Not while I still feel like this,
I guess I always knew the score,
This is where our story ends.

You left behind some clothes,
My belly somersaults,
When I pick them off the floor.
My friends all say they’re worried,
I’m looking far too skinny,
I’ve stopped returning all their calls.

And no, of course, we can’t be friends,
Not while I’m still so obsessed,
I want to ask where I went wrong,
But don’t say anything at all.

It took a cup of coffee…
…To prove that you don’t love me.

Cup of Coffee – Garbage.

Heard this song the other day and it just struck me. Its a beautiful song.



With voices unheard.
March 18, 2009, 11:45 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ever since coming back from hospital, I’ve felt really alone.

Havnt heard from Anderson, or Miranda. My mums barely taking any notice of me. My brother is here and there.

Still havnt heard from Nathan.

People arent really listening when I talk to them, and I ask for things and they tell me they’ll do them, and they dont. I know all of that seems small but built up, it isnt.

In fact the only person really trying with me is Belly. Who Im really thankful for.

Ang is too, but its scarce and I understand, cos shes busy.

And Charlottes busy too, aswell as obviously dealing with something [she tends to go quieter when she is].

I had my dressings changed today and that went horribly wrong.

She took them off, then put some cream on the two she was going to re-cover, and when she went to put these strips on [they were tiny and of no use] they wouldnt stick. Then she gave me some meopore [sp?] just incase. Obviously, “just incase” was as soon as I got home, then they wouldnt even stick properly. So I had to get mum to get some decent ones and I finally got them covered again.

I feel like no one really wants to help, and when I ask, like Im just a burden.

I dunno what to do.

I feel so down. Sitting crying like a fool as I type this lol.

I caught up with my friend from highschool that I hadnt talked to in a long time. Shes getting married in June, like literally weeks after she turns 20. Shes younger than me and has a job, place, planning a wedding etc, all this crazy stuff lol.

Makes me feel old. And at the same time, like I’ve really failed already.

I have no real direction or purpose.

With barely anyone talking to me or wanting me around.

I feel ashamed for even existing really right now.



Holy crap I feel terrible lol.
March 16, 2009, 12:44 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

So I started feeling a little ill and sore, and decided painkillers would be a good idea.

But no I feel worse lol alot more nauseous and headachey.

Im probably going to sleep soon.

Quiet day.

Havnt heard from Nathan in over a week, kinda fails huh, you’d think he’d maybe wanna know if Im still alive lol.

Im slowly catching up with everyone though :]