This war is noise.


With voices unheard.
March 18, 2009, 11:45 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ever since coming back from hospital, I’ve felt really alone.

Havnt heard from Anderson, or Miranda. My mums barely taking any notice of me. My brother is here and there.

Still havnt heard from Nathan.

People arent really listening when I talk to them, and I ask for things and they tell me they’ll do them, and they dont. I know all of that seems small but built up, it isnt.

In fact the only person really trying with me is Belly. Who Im really thankful for.

Ang is too, but its scarce and I understand, cos shes busy.

And Charlottes busy too, aswell as obviously dealing with something [she tends to go quieter when she is].

I had my dressings changed today and that went horribly wrong.

She took them off, then put some cream on the two she was going to re-cover, and when she went to put these strips on [they were tiny and of no use] they wouldnt stick. Then she gave me some meopore [sp?] just incase. Obviously, “just incase” was as soon as I got home, then they wouldnt even stick properly. So I had to get mum to get some decent ones and I finally got them covered again.

I feel like no one really wants to help, and when I ask, like Im just a burden.

I dunno what to do.

I feel so down. Sitting crying like a fool as I type this lol.

I caught up with my friend from highschool that I hadnt talked to in a long time. Shes getting married in June, like literally weeks after she turns 20. Shes younger than me and has a job, place, planning a wedding etc, all this crazy stuff lol.

Makes me feel old. And at the same time, like I’ve really failed already.

I have no real direction or purpose.

With barely anyone talking to me or wanting me around.

I feel ashamed for even existing really right now.

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