This war is noise.

May 11, 2009, 1:23 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

It just struck me lately, that instead of talking to someone about how I feel, I write it all in blogs, cos I dont believe anyone wants to hear about it. Or talk to me all that much I guess either.

Makes me feel even more alone in my head.

I blogged when I was ill cos I knew I wouldnt remember as much of it as I’d like to otherwise. With all the medication and everything, my memory has been affected a little, which is both good and bad.

Still no word from practically anyone.

Only people talking to me really at present are Charlotte and Ang. Which Im still grateful for, dont get me wrong.

Just Im slowly ending up by myself.

Despite what I try.

Im trying to keep busy/distracted/focused, so I dont get upset.

But it gets worse at night.

And Im having trouble sleeping.

Feel ill alot.

I feel so alone in my head.

And all I can do is get upset over it. Sit and cry, by myself.

Feel like I should be apologising for existing. For anyone having to read this.

All I ever am is a burden.

Feel like I shouldnt be here at all.


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