This war is noise.


I’ve realised.
September 30, 2009, 9:38 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I dont really have anyone anymore.

No one really wants to talk to me or be around me.

I mean I have my brother, mum, grandparents, family stuff, but I dont think anyone else really has any time for me.

Everyone pretty much has their own lives that Im not part of.

To think a year ago how different stuff was.

I felt like I had people to talk to.

Now I pretty much feel alone. Again.

:/



I think Im lost.
September 30, 2009, 1:43 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I just dont know anymore.

I dont know what I want.

I dont know how I feel.

I dont know how I want to feel.

I dont think Im going to work out. Which is a weird thing to say lol usually its test results, jobs, relationships etc that we say we dont think are going to work out.

But I dont think I am.



There are always surprises.
September 18, 2009, 12:56 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

You really sometimes can never know whats going to happen in a day.

One conversation can lead in a totally different direction without you realising how or why.

You come to terms with something and then it all contradicts itself lol.

Who even knows whats going on anymore?! lol.

Im really glad of my positivity after a good portion of negativity just lifted away.

With a little thought + good films + decent amount of balling = feeling better.

Well, adding the milkshake and oreos I had at the time.

Was totally great lol.

Its okay to get upset, I think Im getting better at moving on from it though too.

Decision must be made, dont let stuff grip on to your life.

Shopping tomorrow :]

Harvest Moon pretty much still devours my soul everyday lol I lose hours, out of nowhere.

Hope all is well :]



The Lucky One – Au Revoir Simone.
September 16, 2009, 10:12 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

A dream of togetherness
Turned into a brighter mess
A faint sigh my spoken best
Now, now

Make way for the simple hours
No finding the time it’s ours
A fate or it’s a desire
I know

So I was the lucky one
Reading letters, not writing them
Taking pictures of anyone
I know

So let the sun shine
So let the sun shine
So let the sun shine
Let it come
To show us that tomorrow is eventual
We know it when the day is done

So let the sun shine
So let the sun shine
So let the sun shine
Let it come
To show us that tomorrow is eventual
We know it when the day is done

So let the sun shine
So let the sun shine
So let the sun shine
Let it come
To show us that tomorrow is eventual
We know it when the day is done

This song is so entirely beautiful, had to share. Never so appropriate either.



Its been over a month.
September 15, 2009, 11:33 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’ve realised when I dont blog, I let alot of stuff build up in my head instead of just getting it out, so thats what Im going to do now x]

Im always learning and right now I’ve had a few hard lessons I guess.

Im really not going to get the ending I thought I was to the last year and a half, but I’ve come to terms with that, and Im actually pretty ok.

New people are not necessarily new perspectives.

There is still a part of me I keep pretty much almost entirely to myself. Which I maybe shouldnt?

I’ve had one physio session so far, and it hurt quite a bit lol so I dunno how my back will take it again this time, on thursday.

Avons done. Helped my brother finish Silent Hill 1 and 2, and now starting 3.

Rune Factory: Harvest Moon for DS is way addictive.

I need some form of direction before I end up completely cracking. Where this direction comes from, Im not entirely sure yet.

Social Security system is failing hardcore with regards to me right now.

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze, if anyone will miss you, my mum certainly will lol.

Still keeping active.

I need to get into a routine.

Hope all is well :]