This war is noise.


The things ill people say.
November 2, 2009, 2:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

You know those days where you randomly think of stuff you would rather have done a little different, where your mood was just wrong, and you ended up lashing out, or saying something you wouldnt normally say, or saying the first awful thing that came to mind just to be left alone at that particular moment in time.

I think I’ve had a few of those moments in the last year or so.

And to anyone I’ve done that to, Im actually really sorry.

With being ill, I’ve become a bit more odd than even I used to be.

I find being around friends kind of difficult at times and I dont know exactly why.

Well, I know I’ve spent alot of time by myself, and its made me more used to that than being around people.

And its not that I like anyone any less or anything.

I think I need to be re-socialised lol.

At the same time though, I’ve went through changes due to the illness. My skin and things bother me quite a bit.

I feel rather self conscious, and dont like the fact that I do.

Cos everyone tells me Im looking well or good even lol and I feel like a fraud almost.

Cos I dont feel that way.

Im not trying to shut everyone out, seriously.

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