This war is noise.

November 9, 2009, 8:21 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I decided I would tell my cousin about how I felt yesterday.

I wish I hadnt.

People just tell you to deal with everything yourself instead of offer to help.

Everything  just reinforces the fact that no one cares, and no one wants to.

I’ve been thinking about killing myself since I woke up at 2:30am. No one would be bothered, because they arent when Im alive, why would they be if Im finally gone and out of the way. And I’d finally stop being miserable. I have plenty of medication I could take. At the same time, if someone found me, revived me and made me live and my brain had suffered, I couldnt handle that. The very idea of them keeping me alive to be a mindless vegetable, just sitting there in torture, confusion and pain, cos I would still have my stomach problems an back problems too.

See a bit part of me still wants to matter to people. Even though I dont think I ever will.

Its the second day I’ve been crying on and off.

I wish I was worth it.


Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: