This war is noise.


New years eve, right.
December 31, 2009, 5:54 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today for me will just be like any other day.

I had an alright day today, I just feel, meh, after the whole rage/tension stuff lately, Im just kinda down.

Nathan seems kinda funny with me? I dunno, Im maybe just blowing something up in my head.

I got some stuff done though, cleaned my room, washed the dog/dried/brushed lol and sorted some papers and things, and now Im having trouble getting to sleep.

Though now Im suddenly yawning lol.

I feel ill and tired and gah lol.

Im gonna go sleep now. x]



Irritated.
December 29, 2009, 3:31 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I dont feel like anyone in this house cares what I think.

All I get from my dad is abuse, esp lately, its been nothing but bullshit.

I’ve recently started baking, and I’ve pretty much got my cinnamon muffins perfected, after 3 tries lol.

I let mum giving dad one today slide, and then he waits til I leave the room, and tells my brother, who helped me out with one or two things and thats it, that they were nice blah etc. i.e. purposely disrespecting me, not saying anything to me, when I made them, so I said to my brother, y’know what? I dont owe him anything, hes getting nothing more I make or have anything to do with.

Then this evening, my dads care nurse came for the night shift and mum gave her one to try, which was fine with me, mum came upstairs and told me that she really liked them, wanted the recipe lol or something and I was like alright, its nice of her. And then mum let “and obviously cos she had one, your dad wanted one” and I just thought…well you’ve now blatantly disrespected me and what I want. What fucked me off even more is she took them from nanny and grandas box, people who actually deserve them.

I said hes not to get anything from me, and mum said “you cant do that”, and Im like of course I can, I make them, I put all the work in, I decide where they go, Im not gonna reward him for being a fucking bastard to me, he thinks he can do what he likes without any consequences, well no, not with me. Should I have to buy all the ingredients myself and go bake them at my nannys house, never again is that happening. And mum then said “they’re for everyone” and Im like no, I make them, I decide, if you wanna go make some and say that, then fine. No one is going dictate this to me.

Its fucking bullshit that Im 21 in a week, and still no one is listening to me, over a simple courtesy that im asking for.

Im not very pleased. At all.

It honestly almost puts me off baking anymore or trying to make things, if this is whats going to happen.

Which is sad, cos I really enjoy doing it.



:] merry christmas indeed.
December 24, 2009, 11:54 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

8 mins to christmas morning, and I go downstairs to get a drink.

I look in the living room, and my dog wakes up and smiles at me.

Thats already my christmas made, was so sweet x]

I love my Bonnie (L)



You’re honestly not worth it.
December 23, 2009, 3:03 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’ve spent the last couple of days arguing with someone, who eventually turns to talking down to someone and getting aggressive when they know they’re wrong.

Pathetic, Im done entertaining that shit.

My dad is attempting to talk shit to mum and my brother, when Im not there, cos hes a coward and a loser.

Pathetic, already done with that a longgg time ago.

I smile and laugh at your mistakes :] you’re really worthless.

Self centered, insecure, moronic, passive aggressive, stupid, idiots.

Fuck you :]



RIP Brittany Murphy.
December 20, 2009, 10:14 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Honestly was an actor I truly loved watching.

Girl, Interrupted being one of my favourite films, she was excellent in it.

And she will be truly missed :/

Dying at 32, 5 days away from christmas, is awful.

This year claimed so many people.

2009 :/ gah.



Her eyes faded.
December 18, 2009, 9:34 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dont look at me that way,

You were supposed to know what you were doing.

I guess you got it wrong,

Believing and trusting in me.

Words hard to process, feelings hard to ignore,

Maybe I dont want to do this anymore.

Wheres the answer?

How long is too long?

Am I kidding myself?

Are you?

What are we even doing?

..

What are you doing?

Why is this happening?

Am I being taken for a fool?

Or is what Im seeing..really you?

Do I take your words too easily?

Am I being lied to?

Do you..

…not care?



Final Fantasy Montage, anyone?
December 14, 2009, 10:36 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

The best fanmade video I’ve seen of Final Fantasy.

Zack’s death still destroys my soul lol ;_;