This war is noise.


Highs and lows part 2?
June 30, 2011, 9:50 pm
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Day 30 – Your highs and lows of this month.

Well, finally completed the end of this meme x]

Highs and lows…well.

I’ve had some pretty rough counselling sessions which are def in there with the lows.

As far as highs…I’ve had a few personal ones I suppose x]

Especially dealing with all this appeal stuff.

And trying to cope with situations I’d otherwise avoid.

Things are fairly up and down for me all the time currently so it ends up being hard to pick up 100% xP

Hope all is well! :]

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Goals.
June 29, 2011, 10:43 pm
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Day 29 – Goals for the next 30 days.

– I want to finish tidying my room.

– Want to finish at least one of my foil art pieces.

– Possibly finish ff13 since I have almost finished the training I wanted to do xD

– Go somewhere new.

– Start this new progam to help with my life.

– Continue to make progress with counselling.

– Find more out about myself.

– Increase my fitness levels again.

– Have more control over my food again.

– Meet up with Sara at least once.

I think thats good for goals for a month xD lol.



Whats missinggg.
June 28, 2011, 10:38 pm
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Day 28 – Something that you miss.

I think right now, I miss certain parts of my life that fell out when I got ill, like alot of my confidence in myself, and having more friends in my life, having an active social life even in the small realm that it was.

Theres alot I miss but I also realise that I’ve moved on and changed. In good ways aswell as the negative health stuff and all that.

And especially with my counselling and such, Im continuing to make progress. :]



Problem?
June 27, 2011, 11:26 pm
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Day 27 – A problem that you have had.

I suppose a very big problem, and one of the most life affecting, is what happened with my spine.

Perfectly normal for almost 18 years of my life, apart from a couple occasions of back pain.

I was at a uni open day, just started the term, beginning of upper sixth year.

I had been fine the first half of the day, and at the time was sitting on a step talking with two of my friends.

I went to get up and my back just went. I didnt understand it at the time, that I was having trouble walking, moving even, having alot of pain.

I went to see a doctor, after things not improving for a couple of days. He told me I had growing pains. I havnt trusted him since.

Within 2 weeks I went to see a different doctor, who said I should get to hospital ASAP.

For the first 3 months or so, I wasnt told anything, just had lots of tests.

Only found out when they started looking for other things, that they’d first been looking for cancer.

With my age, which was still 17 at the time, and how quickly it happened and how bad it was, they were almost assuming it until they completely ruled it out. And of course they dont tell you either way until they are sure, so as not to frighten you.

After that, I soon found out I had 3 prolapsed discs, which were pressing on my sciatic nerve on the left side, and had a scoliosis.

I spent two years in pretty much isolation, apart from a couple of random visits from friends, and appointments for physio and tests.

The person I seen most was my brother, who helped me as much as he could, going to tech and things.

But I was largely forgotten about, and when I did try and go downstairs or something, I was quickly told to go back upstairs by mum.

She really let me down during the time I was really ill, giving me barely any help at all.

Especially when my 19th birthday was completely forgotten about.

Its upsetting to think about even now, especially when she couldnt even be bothered until april, when it was in january.

After I agreed an operation looked like the only option to improve my life, I ended up being lucky, getting an appointment with one of the english doctors making surgeries back and forth to lower waiting lists, and had spine surgery in a BUPA hospital in yorkshire, by a pretty amazing doctor.

:]



Attraction.
June 26, 2011, 10:23 pm
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Day 26 – What kind of person attracts you.

I’d say for me, personality has alot to do with it.

I like intelligent people, usually musically inclined or artistic people.

Not a fan of cockyness or arrogance.

Or major vanity.

Easy going, funny, warm, kind, considerate.

Tend to like blonde haired, blue eyed guys, but it sometimes changes.

Tall obviously, considering im 6ft.

Also like nice jawlines and hands. I know, Im odd lol.

And I kinda prefer guys that pursue me, that one I would need to.

Also like mature guys, not about games.

:]



Cant take my eyes off of you.
June 25, 2011, 2:52 am
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Day 25 – Someone who fascinates you and why.

Im not sure I am fascinated by anyone currently. x]



Saturday night at the movies.
June 24, 2011, 11:49 pm
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Day 24 – Your favorite movie and what it’s about.

This is hard for me as I have several favourite films.

I love My Neighbour Totoro, Legend, Labyrinth, Alice In Wonderland.

Aswell as that, I love 10 things I hate about you, The Notebook, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Interview with a Vampire.

…I have too many favourites xD so I cant really explain all those! 😛