This war is noise.


Sore and tired.
February 11, 2013, 3:42 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I thought I’d post this since I think it did help me process some things last time.

And Im so tired of having trouble sleeping, though I think Im on my way to fixing it now.

Tired 2 hours earlier than last night, wayhey. x]

Im so sore, was tidying and such today, and with the sleep problem and it being patch change over day, it wasnt the most ideal situation, but I struggled through it, got it done and feel better for it.

Well, in my head anyway, my back definitely hates me for it.

Belly got back in touch with me again :] after so long, its been nice hearing from him again. Also managed to have a short conversation with Clare. She has not been well. I can relate.

Im feeling less of the impending doom that was there before, after a frank and solid discussion about general affairs relating to our household. I hope we stop ending up at a crisis point before something gets done about things.

I have the hospital twice this week, and possibly the nurse in the morning. I hope I get to sleep very soon if thats the case, as mum puts down “monday” when making the appointment, then tells me one monday and writes down another -.- lol.

I have more cleaning ahead, but the hardest part is the starting. And I have now, so yay for me x]

Hope all is well [:



Its been over a year.
February 5, 2013, 2:44 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

Its been over a year since I’ve posted here.

Im not entirely sure why, especially since so much has happened in my life.

Pretty big things, and small too.

I guess maybe because I had so much going on, I just never got around to recording it. I wish I had though because I feel like I have lost a year now lol.

Anyways, Im writing this mainly because I am sad.

I feel so sad atm, it hurts fairly badly.

I’ve been crying on and off for an hour or so.

And I wish I could just sleep, but I feel like I need to at least express myself in some way first before my brain will settle.

And Im fairly sure no one reads this, so I dunno why I do write here. But I do.

And it does.

Im finding things fairly hard right now.

I feel like I have so much to do before I can make things better for myself, and then Im afraid that when I do, it wont matter because no one really cares about me anyway.

I’ve had two friends over the past year or more be really good to me, and happily deal with how things can be when Im having a hard time. Just like I do the same with them.

But the last of my school friends seem to be forgetting about me, and almost actively doing so, like trying to make a point of it.

I can go so long without hearing from anyone, and I miss having well2 bringing us together.

I have tech once a week, for just over an hour, and although i talk to who i sit beside, we dont know eachother very well and arent really friends.

I have so little life outside of the house again now, apart from the times Im with my two friends.

Im in so much pain. My back is really playing up, more so than usual, because of the time of year and all.

Im trying very hard to tackle the food problems and not bail when it gets too hard, or when i dont feel like it, or when I feel I cant cope with it.

And Im trying to get my sleep fixed for more than 5-7 days without it going crazy again.

Im just so frustrated with everything.

I hope things can still turn out okay.