This war is noise.


Its been over a year.
February 5, 2013, 2:44 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

Its been over a year since I’ve posted here.

Im not entirely sure why, especially since so much has happened in my life.

Pretty big things, and small too.

I guess maybe because I had so much going on, I just never got around to recording it. I wish I had though because I feel like I have lost a year now lol.

Anyways, Im writing this mainly because I am sad.

I feel so sad atm, it hurts fairly badly.

I’ve been crying on and off for an hour or so.

And I wish I could just sleep, but I feel like I need to at least express myself in some way first before my brain will settle.

And Im fairly sure no one reads this, so I dunno why I do write here. But I do.

And it does.

Im finding things fairly hard right now.

I feel like I have so much to do before I can make things better for myself, and then Im afraid that when I do, it wont matter because no one really cares about me anyway.

I’ve had two friends over the past year or more be really good to me, and happily deal with how things can be when Im having a hard time. Just like I do the same with them.

But the last of my school friends seem to be forgetting about me, and almost actively doing so, like trying to make a point of it.

I can go so long without hearing from anyone, and I miss having well2 bringing us together.

I have tech once a week, for just over an hour, and although i talk to who i sit beside, we dont know eachother very well and arent really friends.

I have so little life outside of the house again now, apart from the times Im with my two friends.

Im in so much pain. My back is really playing up, more so than usual, because of the time of year and all.

Im trying very hard to tackle the food problems and not bail when it gets too hard, or when i dont feel like it, or when I feel I cant cope with it.

And Im trying to get my sleep fixed for more than 5-7 days without it going crazy again.

Im just so frustrated with everything.

I hope things can still turn out okay.

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