This war is noise.


Now it all makes seeeeeense!
March 19, 2015, 1:52 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Listening to some Starbomb there, loving it.

It did seem to help getting that vent out so I figured might do that earlier this time so I might sleep sooner. I also got something to eat/drink to help too.

I still feel pretty good about my decision too, so that’s something ^-^

I’ve been playing a lot of Hatsune Miku – Project Diva f 2nd ever since it came out in November and I’m rather disappointed that we finally got Just Be Friends for Luka through DLC and they just did a performance video, no dramatic music video type deal ;-; was really hoping for one.

In other news there continues to be alot of death across the last month or so, I think early spring is really where people get taken out o.o and I just didnt notice until Nanny died last march. It’s been on my mind obv with the anniversary and theres just so much death happening again this month this time around.

I get concerned that it might tap on my family’s door again when I would definitely prefer it just stay away.

I’m feeling a bit more energised and creative.

I will start fixing what I’m doing with everything. I’ve been so out of control with my anxiety and depression.

And I know I can’t help it when its doing that, it just needs space to move.

But I always have the nagging thoughts about how I feel like time is always against me because of it.

Well, actively trying to help with that now.

Hope all is well!

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That attitude looks bad on you.
March 18, 2015, 3:30 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

A little vague vent today, maybe if I get these thoughts out of my mind I’ll finally be able to sleep.

So when you finally decide to rock up after a week of nothing, short notice letting me know into the bargain, and then when asking for a little effort moving on from now, you basically throw things back on me, when I make >all< the effort and am pretty much the most accommodating to you than I have ever been to anyone in my entire life, I am now certain I’ve been wasting my time.

I mean seriously, what am I even thinking of considering this?

Or when I was at least, I am certainly not now.

You will never change, you will never make the effort, or put the time in.

You will never factor me in.

So I am factoring you out. Make sure this is in your head as you type now, and reread this later me, we are officially done on this.

No amount of nice conversation, promises, or anything else is changing this.

We. Are. Done.

Such a slap in the face to how considerate I have been for so, so long.

But I get it.

You’re selfish and realistically unkind.

And I’m pretty sure there is only one thing important to you that, in me deciding this, is going to be taken away, and I am glad.

I hope it really bothers you.

I’m freeing me.

There is no more of this.

Repeat it out loud now – we are done.